I haven't blogged in...a long time...because Krista was so excited for Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival that her excitement crippled her. She couldn't speak or think straight, let alone see straight. Yes, Krista was temporarily blind. On top of being blind, Krista didn't even have sunglasses to protect her because she couldn't find ones that compliment her strangely shaped face. Sigh, I don't even know what to say anymore. Basically, Coachella was the bane of Krista's existence, and it got even worse once we arrived in Indio. In Indio, Krista frolicked while listening to music and meeting new people. It pains me to broadcast Krista's Coachella experience to the world, and it pains me even more that even though I was there to witness her suffering, I didn't do anything to help because I was too busy making Arts and Crafts and staring at light fixtures. Damn, I'm a really bad friend. Anyways, did I mention that Krista was front row at Jay-Z and that Jay-Z gave Krista his towel after the show? Sigh, her life is so hard.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Monday, March 29, 2010
Last night, Krista was aimlessly wandering campus in search of something to ameliorate her pain. However, instead of finding happiness and comfort, she stumbled upon a music festival in Alumni Park. When Krista heard the sweet music and saw the beautiful people and the free food and drink, she thought to herself, "Are you serious, USC? You're hosting a music festival when I have things to do? Wow." Krista had so many things to do last night...she had to determine whether or not she wanted to sleep with the AC on and she had to figure out what sweatpants to wear for tomorrow just to name a few. Why would USC throw free music, food, and drink in Krista's face during such stressful times? When a situation like this occurs, Krista can't help but to think that the world is working against her. As she sorrowfully stared at the concert, she knew that everyone around her could feel the presence of a pitiful person. She wanted to scream, "Yes, my name is Krista, and my life is so hard," but she couldn't because there was music playing. Sigh...another reason why her life is so hard.
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Recently, Krista submitted the picture below to backgroundcreep.com, a website that is pretty self-explanatory. Not a lot of people know this, but one of Krista's goals in life is to become a world-renowned creeper. She wanted to start small with backgroundcreep.com and work her way up. However, for unknown reasons, backgroundcreep.com did not accept Krista's picture. When Krista learned of this devastating news, her mind was overwhelmed with questions. How could it be that she wasn't creepy enough to be a creeper? How could she become a licensed lurker if she couldn't even make it onto backgroundcreep.com? She just didn't understand. She talked to me and Tess about it, and all we could do was just nod and say, "We know, Krista, we know. Your life is so hard."
Saturday, March 27, 2010
This weekend, Krista left for home. Because my "muse" (I can't directly refer to her as my muse because she believes that being someone's muse is too much work) was coping with her life alone in San Diego, I found inspiration in another tormented soul.
My friend Daniel has a really hard life. Although I've known this since we first met in elementary school, I recently noticed that his life is actually twice as hard as everyone else's. Daniel grew up in two houses, one in Berkeley and one in Orinda, with two brothers, one older and one younger. How did I not realize this earlier? I'm not a psychiatrist or anything, but I'm pretty sure that if someone has TWO places to call home and TWO people to call brother, they feel DOUBLE the pain. This twofold torment has definitely become a trend in Daniel's life. During high school, his life was really hard in California AND in England because he started school in California and finished school in England. In California, Daniel always had to decide what to eat. How could he choose from Crepevine and Rick and Ann's? From Blondie's and Fat Slice? The possibilities for where to eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner were endless...just like Daniel's grief. In England, Daniel never knew what time was tea time. Should he drink his English Breakfast in the morning or in the afternoon? And should his English Breakfast be accompanied by one or two crumpets? He just wasn't prepared to deal with such tragic situations. Luckily, when Daniel finished high school, he moved back to the US to attend Trinity. Unluckily, Daniel only attended Trinity for one semester because he was so smart that he got accepted to the London School of Economics, one of the top universities in the world. Poor Daniel, I know.
At the moment, Daniel still suffers from what Miley Cyrus calls the "best of both worlds" as he currently lives in Berkeley/Orinda, where he eats, drinks, and sleeps, but is moving to England, where he will eat, drink, and sleep. In the picture below, I can clearly see the dual agony that has plagued Daniel's life. Honestly, I'm just really glad that I'm not him because his life is so hard.
Edit: It was just brought to my attention that Daniel's life is THREE times as hard due to a third house in Berkeley. I don't really know what to say about that other than that Daniel will be in my thoughts.
Last night, before going out, Krista was watching television and eating candy. Like most people, Krista uses television as an outlet to escape the problems that she faces on a day to day basis. So, naturally, Krista chose to watch Real Housewives of New York City, a show about middle-aged socialites, because it features people who have harder lives than Krista. I mean, in the episode that she watched, the characters went to a fashion show and went to a private dinner at Saks Fifth Avenue. If that didn't sound cruel enough, I'd like to mention that the characters did both things while drunk and dressed in designer clothing. I seriously can't think of anything to match that kind of torture...besides relaxing before partying, watching television, and eating imported candy from England. Oh wait...isn't that what Krista did last night? Her life is so hard.
Friday, March 26, 2010
This afternoon, Krista and I were talking about why her life sucks. Where did these hardships come from? Could it be that she grew up in San Diego? That she was Vice President at her high school? That she got accepted to USC? No, no, and no. Although no one should have to endure those 3 hardships, we decided, after much deliberation, that the root of Krista's torment was worse than everything that I just mentioned. Worse than world hunger too. Krista's life is so hard because her parents, Marcus and Kat Nedel, have really hard lives.
Marcus and Kat Nedel met at the Renaissance Fair, married in 2008, and subsequently began to suffer together. Their relationship has been a long and painful one. Despite this, I am going to try to pinpoint the agony that clearly affected Krista. First, Marcus and Kat live within walking distance to the beach. What?! The beach?! That's tragic. Second, their store, Sanctum, is within walking distance to the beach. What?! Another beach?! That's also tragic. Third, they are so in love that wherever they go, people say, "You two look like you're so in love." What?! Love?! Wow, I have no words. Their lives are definitely hard enough to influence their daughter's life.
Below is a picture of Krista and her parents on vacation in Frankfurt, Germany. I don't think that I need any words to describe what Krista is thinking in this picture, but in case you were wondering, she's thinking, "I'm on vacation with my parents who love each other. My life is so hard."
This morning, Krista went to the Coffee Bean on campus. Because the Coffee Bean is located in USC's School of Cinematic Arts, it is usually swarming with film students, who like to loiter around the building with their Espresso Macchiatos and Lucky Strikes. With that said, Krista would arrive at the Coffee Bean when it was completely deserted. She didn't wait in line, and when she finished paying for her chocolate chip cookie, she found out that she had almost 50 dining dollars left. Most students wait in line for at least 10 minutes and most students have no dining dollars left. Both Krista and I don't understand why Krista was unlucky enough to beat the rush and to have money for food. I guess this mystery merits contemplation along with other questions like why is Krista's life so hard? Like, we don't understand, her life is so hard.
Once or twice a week, when Krista is too distraught to share her hardships, we will feature another victim of well...life. This week, we are featuring Erby, a native of Los Angeles and a student at USC.
Erby, dubbed Polar Burr by the baby squirrels, came over last night, and while he was visiting, we noticed that he also suffers from adversity. On this difficult Thursday, Erby didn't have class, got free food from Daphne's...twice, and drank four Four Lokos with friends. In the picture below, we can see that both Erby and Krista are exuding anguish. The misery is practically seeping out of their barely there pores. They are probably thinking, "Oh my god. I am socializing on a Thursday night AND I'm in the arms of an attractive person. My life is so hard." Furthermore, although I'm not trying to broadcast Erby's terrible life even more, I would like to note that right before this picture was taken, Erby was using Krista as a pillow and me as an ottoman. He can't even enjoy the luxury of furniture so he uses girls instead. His life is so hard.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Today, after Krista delighted in vanilla and chocolate swirled ice cream, she sat at the Youth Triumphant fountain. Out of all the places on campus, she sat at the Youth Triumphant fountain, an ode to the youth of USC, situated in between the Doheney Library and Bovard Auditorium. She could have easily been anywhere else, but she sat at the most gorgeous place on campus. It was completely unnecessary and ridiculous, we know. There, Krista conversed with her friend, Tess, basked in the California sun, and dipped her hands in the water. She couldn't believe that she had to do three tasks at the same time. Doesn't she have to put up with enough? Seriously, conversation, sunlight, and relaxation, all in one sitting. Her life is so hard.
Today, Krista was craving her favorite type of dessert, vanilla and chocolate swirled ice cream. Although Cafe 84, the eating establishment next to our dorm, has Chinese, Italian, Japanese, and Mexican food and Jamba Juice, Krista couldn't possibly be burdened with eating those types of foods. So, she had to choose between our two cafeterias, Parkside and EVK. Naturally, Krista wanted to go to Parkside because of its proximity. However, she realized (yes, she was even burdened with enlightenment) that Parkside had separate dispensers for vanilla and chocolate ice cream. How could she possibly pull the lever for vanilla ice cream, pull the lever for chocolate ice cream, and use a spoon to mix the two ice creams to create her favorite dessert? She already had to wake up to go to class once today, how could the world expect her to swirl her own ice cream? Consequently, Krista was forced to walk to EVK instead of Parkside, where she successfully obtained her vanilla and chocolate swirled ice cream at a great price. She had to make a choice, walk to EVK, and eat dessert. Her life is so hard.
Hello, my name is Krista Jackson, and my life is so hard. My life is so hard that I made a blog to share my hardships with the world. Forget war. Forget world hunger. Forget unemployment. Forget homelessness. And especially forget the internal struggle of America. Remember Krista Jackson. And how hard her life is.
Although every aspect of my life is hard, I would like to share the 3 struggles that burden me everyday.
1. Waking up to go to class at USC
I have to wake up every morning to go to either lecture or discussion at USC, one of the most prestigious universities in the world. Not only does USC have impeccable academics and sports, but it also has beautiful people and weather as well. My life is so hard.
2. Picking out which pair of sweatpants I should wear to class
Even though I occasionally dress up and put on make up, I usually wear sweatpants to class because I enjoy rolling out of bed. However, I have a vast collection of 3 sweatpants that I must choose from every morning. My life is so hard.
3. Interacting with other people
Yes, I go to school with other people, and I usually have to interact with them. Sometimes, they even come up to me for conversation. It's like, do they not know that my life is so hard? I can't answer questions or formulate sentences in a time like this. God.
Because my life is so hard, I can no longer write this blog. Therefore, I will relay my trials and tribulations to Chloe Nguyen, pictured on the right with me and Tess Goodwin (creator of Treehouse Trunkshow, the only thing that makes me forget about burdens 1, 2, and 3).
I can't type anymore. My life is too hard.